First Essay Revision: Essay Two or Essay Three

100 Points (10% Total Grade)

First Revision (Second Draft) of Essay Two OR Essay Three DIRECTIONS:

  • Choose either your Essay Two or your Essay Three with plans to revise it, twice.
  • You MUST revise the document that you originally shared with me for evaluation!  (Note: revisions can be examined if you click on File and select Version history and then select See version history.)
  • First, fix the issues that I addressed with you in our Mandatory Conference:
    1. Be sure to fix all errors marked by me, as well as to find and fix similar (unmarked) errors.
    2. Be sure to address content issues that I have highlighted and commented upon.
  • Then expand the paper significantly (from 3-6 pages to 5-8 pages).
    1. Consider the ways that depth of thought might be improved (and there are always ways for this to be done) in each paragraph.
    2. If you have had to (further) develop the thesis statement, make sure that there are sentences in each paragraph that tie it clearly to that thesis statement.
  • Finally, further polish the paper:
    1. Consider ways to more tightly unite the paragraphs together.
    2. Consider ways to make the introduction and thesis statement even more clearly tied to the essay body.
    3. Consider ways to develop depth of thought in the conclusion, without moving away from the focus of the paper.
    4. Proofread, several times, for writing and formatting errors!

NOTE: There is absolutely no guarantee that the revision grade will be higher than the original grade!  

Lisa Simpson writing on her computer