Essay Revision: Essay Two or Essay Three

200 Points (20% Total Grade)

NOTE: There is absolutely no guarantee that this revision grade will be higher than either the first revision or the original grades!  

DIRECTIONS:

  • Choose either your Essay Two or your Essay Three with plans to revise it, twice.
  • You MUST revise the document that you originally shared with me for evaluation!  (Note: revisions can be examined if you click on File and select Version history and then select See version history.)
  • First, fix the issues that I addressed with you in our Mandatory Conference:
    1. Be sure to fix all errors marked by me, as well as to find and fix similar (unmarked) errors.
    2. Be sure to address content issues that I have highlighted and commented upon.
  • Then expand the paper significantly (from 3-6 pages to 5-8 pages).
    1. Consider the ways that depth of thought might be improved (and there are always ways for this to be done) in each paragraph.
    2. If you have had to (further) develop the thesis statement, make sure that there are sentences in each paragraph that tie it clearly to that thesis statement.
  • Finally, further polish the paper:
    1. Consider ways to more tightly unite the paragraphs together.
    2. Consider ways to make the introduction and thesis statement even more clearly tied to the essay body.
    3. Consider ways to develop depth of thought in the conclusion, without moving away from the focus of the paper.
    4. Proofread, several times, for writing and formatting errors!
      • Make sure there are no grammatical or other writing errors.
      • Check for sentence clarity, tone, and voice consistency.
      • Check each paragraph for unity and clarity (organization and development).  Where is the topic sentence, and is it clear?
      • Check the essay for unity: what is the thesis and is it clearly tied to each  paragraph?
      • Make sure that the formatting is correctly done.
      • Make sure that the citations are done correctly (both within the text and at the end of the paper).
      • Make sure that quotes are done properly and that paraphrasing includes in-text citation.

NOTE: There is absolutely no guarantee that the revision grade will be higher than the original grade!  


 

Lisa Simpson writing on her computer